1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean".
5. You think vests come in two styles - bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave".
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
Join us for LOL FRIDAY on the Optimist Group! Mirela Monte, AR Jokester
OMG, I laughed so hard when I read this. I just had to share it with you. I'm going to bed early tonight and have an early and difficult morning, so I posted it before midnight for LOL Friday. Enjoy!
Priceless Mirela, the clean hand line and bacon puts everything in perspective.
I liked the book cover the best, it does says it all! Thanks for getting us started, I hope your "difficult morning" turns into a better day and great weekend.
Antonio
Hi Mirela,
Well this may be funny in America anywhere outside is not,cause we encounter all kinds of people every day.I feel like I'm ready to turn into one of described above individuals.I'm going to start from the end.
I have a crush on neighbour's dog Chuck.
I bathe only when Association doesn't turn my water off.
I have nothing against women and I think every man should own at least ten,so he would be to tired to get angry.
Fraze about the cave is coming up after I finish the job on mine.
I don't own the cell phone any more since after I had to cover Osama's bills.
I consider television dangerous cause after watching it I'm ready to kill someone.
This one about Jihad is right too.
What other kinds of vests do we have on market?
I don't eat beacon and use only recycled product to wipe my but off(this one shows how civilized I am)
As far as wives that's the truth here as well but it goes like this you have more wives than your teeth but you show only one.
As far as guns it goes like this I wish I would have my good old AK47 my other vapon they delivered already from USA,I'm just waiting for bullets.
Only this one about beer is not me at all.
Zijuzijazijana
Mirela, you delivered another zinger! How funny! I too would like to have a couple of guns in my arsenal against the world! Haha!
Mirela...thanks for the morning laughs. I didn't know anything about this book...a fun publication.
Mirela..That is too funny..now
I don't feel bad about grandma..Thanks
HelpfulHannah your friend in Philadelphia
I LOVE that list! I need to share it with some friends....
Look for my post, have a few up my sleeve in time for LOLF!
Mirela-Thanks for the Friday morning laughs, It is raining again here in Mass. the 19th day of June, and we have had at least 15 days in June with temps below normal. So laughter is very much appreciated.
Thanks for the laugh..Hope your morning was not as difficult as you expected!!
Happy Friday!!
Lori
Tremendously funny! Thanks :-)
I really liked this one - Very funny!
Brian.
How deliciously un-PC, Mirela. Thank you for sharing. And tell Hannah that she shouldn't feel like she has to apologize for grandma. That was great, too. :)
That's wild Mirela and so true...
I really should wake my hubby up to read this. But instead I'll book mark it and show it to him tomorrow.
That is too damn funny... but oh so true...right, who have they not declard war against