It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see…
My son is going to war in a few days. This is no news; it’s been looming over me for quite some time. The immediacy of this is now weighing on my shoulders like the ton of emotional baggage that it is.
A deep sadness has descended upon my being, the kind of melancholy that penetrates into the very soul. I lost my beloved grandmother this year. Now my son is going to war. I recently found out I have Hashimoto disease. My five year relationship with my significant other has ended this year. My business has absorbed every ounce of my energy lately. Frankly, I am worn out. I guess I could just retreat in a corner somewhere and be miserable, but that's just not me. Instead, I choose to focus on all the wonderful things in my life and find the balance that will carry me through this, or any other hardship. Of course, affirmations and motivational quotes can certainly infuse the right perspective:
“That which does not kill you makes you stronger.” Nietze
"Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart, do not know how to laugh either."
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." Good Will Hunting"
“Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” Carl Sandburg
“The Future belongs to those who Believe in the Beauty of Their Dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them.” - Vincent McNabb
"Extraordinary afflictions are not always the punishment of extraordinary sins, but sometimes the trial of extraordinary graces."
"The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision."-Helen Keller
"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something." Jackson Brown Jr
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." — Eric Hoffer
While the weight on my shoulders is heavy right now, I choose to embrace my melancholy and weep my quiet tears, while forging forward with my Life, hopeful for the future. I am grateful for the many blessings bestowed upon me. I choose to look at the bright side of my tribulations:
1. I lost my beloved grandmother this year. While I am still mourning her loss, I am thankful to have had her with me for as long as I have. 96 years is a long time to spend loving life on this Earth. Her essence has been distilled in me and my children and her loving heart has touched so many people in ways that will make her presence felt for many years to come...
2. My son is going to war. While I tremble at the mere thought of his departure, I am resolute in my belief that things are as they should be. This is his Life’s journey and I have to respect his decision. I am hopeful that his involvement in this war will have a positive impact on other people and on the course of history. I pray for his safety every night and I believe that he will return home alive and well.
3. I recently found out I have Hashimoto disease. My dentist's three year old son has cancer and only a 30% chance of survival. My health problem is nothing compared to that. I won't die and I'll most likely get better. I am taking a holistic medication and I am already 50% better than I was four months ago.
4. My five year relationship with my significant other has ended this year. We meet and connect with people for various reasons. Each relationship will get us to where we need to be. I am thankful for the wonderful memories and hopeful that I have learnt from the experience. When my heart mends, I will have a good relationship again.
5. My Real Estate Practice has absorbed every ounce of my energy this year. I am one of the Lucky Realtors, for I am still in business… While dealing with these short sales and foreclosures is emotionally draining, I am training myself to keep my eyes on the good that I do on a daily basis and concentrate on how important it is to my clients that I am in their lives.
I embrace Life’s yin-yang, the hills and valleys of the human existence. Being an Optimist doesn't mean that you lead a charmed life, devoid of pain and hardship. How could you possibly appreciate all the joys conferred by Life, if you don't have the sorrows as points of reference? Yes, I cry the tears. Yes, I learn the lessons. Yes, I feel the pain... Through it all, I hold my head up high and my spirit full of hope.
"Life's short; live it fully!"
"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." Henry David Thoreau
How you handle your "lows" is perhaps the best test for defining an Optimist...
I'm hoping that my open heart will help all those who are grappling with Life's Tests...
Please share your winning ways of dealing with pain, disappointment, fear and sorrow!
Mirela, I will pray for you in many ways for healing of the heart and body and for your son's safety.
Hopefully your Grandmother will be an angel of safety and look over your son. Keep your chin up. I look at how much better my life is then other people that are being tested more then me each day. One hundred people have lost a child to swine flu. My children are still alive as is your son. If you take each challenge and thank God or who ever you believe in that it was not worse, it will get you thru just about anything.
Thank you Tammie! My heart will be well and my body is also healing. I have no worries there. Grieving for our losses is not a bad thing. I embrace the tears as much as I embrace the laughter...
As for my son, please do pray! He is a remarkable young man and he will do much good in this World if allowed time here...
Joseph: I believe in that wholeheartedly. That is exactly the point here:
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see…
I complained about having no shoes on my feet until I saw a man who had no feet...
My heart goes out to you. I lost my father several years ago. My brother was a test pilot for Taiwan and died about 15 years ago.
Hope they are able to find a cure for you. Sounds like you have definitely had more than your share of trials. Hope you see many rainbows and may your friends be near.
Hi, Mirela. This post is poignant, eloquent and clearly heartfelt...my heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best. I think that your burden is surely a little lighter because you have been able to share it.
Mirela, I share your grief, even as you look to the balance against the grief, choosing to be grateful, to trust, to call out for recognition of your pain. You have that from us.
Great to hear that your spirits are high. Sometimes tests like these real open your eyes to things you might otherwsie not see at all. Almost like seeing through someone elses eyes.
Mirela-I also believe that your grandmother will be the angel looking over your son, as he defends our freedom.
Featured @ Club Chaos
Mirela, you forgot to add to your list of good things, all of the people here on AR that love you for your beautiful spirit and drive!
A beautiful outpouring of your heart, Mirela. Our lives here on this earth bring much love, joy, sorrow and pain for all of us, but it's looking at our own situations in the way you've done, that we can get through each moment. Your honesty and strength are an inspiration. We too, will pray for your son's safety and return home.
Mirela - I am holding you and your son in my thoughts and prayers....blessings and grace and strength and peace to you both. And please tell your son I will be praying for him.
Mirela, you are in my prayers as well as your son. What you posted while adversity you chose not to be negative but grow and blossom from it. Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you so very much for your lovely comments! With two closings occuring today, dealing with three offers and one left over major problem, I am doing some significant work in between. My daughter's friend was killed by a school bus driver yesterday and our entire community is in mourning. I am asking some hard questions after finding out the bus driver was 76 years old, had a bad reputation for reckless driving and almost ran my daughter off the road on the freeway a few weeks ago.
I wrote a couple of blogs about this in the past 15 hours (please see my blog roll). I am trying to activate our community to take action and help enact legislation to protect our children.
I'm so glad this post was well received. We all have burdens to carry. Our attitude determines our altitude. Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't!
Thank you very much for your heartfelt words of support! I am so grateful to have you in my life!
Mirela, you are the eternal optimist. Where is your son headed? I hope he returns home safe... thats a scary thing for a parent, I cant even imagine ...
Robert: He's going to Afghanistan tomorrow. He will be gone for 8 months.
I just posted a farewell blog for my son:
I Hope You’ll Dance!
Lets hope he ends up stuck in a boring position on a base... Safe and tucked in.