Myrtle Beach Real Estate by Mirela

Divorce And Real Estate

It occurred to me recently that I have inadvertently developed another niche for myself:  "Divorce Realty".   Don't laugh, I can explain!

Having failed miserably at, not one, but two marriages, I am perhaps the least likely to pass judgment on the demise of a marriage and the most likely to navigate successfully over the sea of unfortunate details inherent in such endeavor. 

I divorced successfully the second time (I guess practice makes perfect...).  What is a successful divorce, you ask?  Many people do not believe that "successful" and "divorce" can co-exist in the same paragraph, let alone the same sentence.  I beg to differ. 

A successful divorce occurs when both parties recognize that anger, although honored for what it is, has no place in financial dealings.  Although marriage is an affair of the heart, divorce is best put in the context of a business endeavor. 

Divorce attorneys should charge a flat rate for a divorce, that way they would be less likely to instigate lengthy procedures and stir up dirt, only to drive their incomes up.  Perhaps a divorce financial planner and a divorce Realtor should be the main advisers, not the attorneys.  The correct advice should take into consideration each party's current condition and formulate the strategy most likely to benefit both parties.  The vision should be long term, not myopic, and the welfare of the children should be the most important consideration. 

A successful divorce keeps the family unit together.   I'm still close to my ex-husband's mother and grown children.   Why not?  I loved them before the divorce, how can I "un-love" them after the divorce?  I will write a second blog about the attributes of a good "Divorce Realtor".  I would love your input on the subject!  

Your Myrtle Beach Real Estate Connection, Mirela Monte             JOIN THE DIVORCE REALTORS GROUP

www.MyrtleBeachHomes.us

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Comment balloon 24 commentsMirela Monte • March 11 2008 02:20PM

Comments

Interesting position....I guess there is a market for that niche!
Posted by Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty, Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County (Bucci Realty, Inc.) over 11 years ago
They can now be your OUT LAW'S
Posted by Jane Wallace, CRS | SRES, Denver Real Estate (HomeSmart Cherry Creek) over 11 years ago
It takes two mature individuals to behave the right way to do what you suggest, not so easy.
Posted by Miriam Bernstein, CRS over 11 years ago
Mirela,  I have thought about working with divorce people but after giving it some serious consideration I decided it was not for me.  The optimist in me just could not get over the fear of the coming together of two people who don't necessarily like each other at the time.
Posted by Jimmy McCall, The Ex-Mortgage Consultant (JimmyMcCall.com) over 11 years ago

With more than half of all marriages ending in divorce, you bet!

The odds that a third marriage will succeed are at only 13% (it's 51% for a first marriage). 

"Serial Monogamy" is no longer the exception; it has become the norm. 

Financial hardship tends to exacerbate other inherent problems...  During hard economic times, we always see a higher rate of divorce. 

Developing "niches" in this market is advisable...

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago
  As Realtor's we get caught up and sometimes emmeshed in our client's stuff. Have had a few sales that were predicated on divorce, and it is not pretty or fun. Putting on our business hat sounds easy to do,but the heart still rules in most cases. Attorneys can add time and money to the outcome. I like your idea of "a Divorce Realtor".
Posted by Kim Harris, Designated Broker/Owner/Sound Realty (Sound Realty) over 11 years ago
Mirela,  It is too bad that people cannot wait to divorce until after they both have "calmed down."  What I don't understand is how very intelligent people can use their children as pons.
Posted by Leslie Bloss, Bellevue Real Estate Professional over 11 years ago

A good "Divorce Realtor" keeps it all in perspective.  Don't take sides!  Don't carry information back and forth!  Your role is to minimize the damage.  If both parties benefit from your involvement, you've done a good job as a"Divorce Realtor".  Next!

By the way, the ultimate compliment is when both parties retain you as their agent for their future real estate transactions!

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago
Yes, Leslie, calming down is a very good thing.  A good "Divorce Realtor" knows how to get the two warring parties to do just that.  War always destructs!  Peaceful and Respectful negotiations always render better results.  Perhaps we should let our politicians in on this little "secret"... 
Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago
Mirela this is an awesome idea.  I came out of two divorces with neither house we lived in at the time.  There were extenuating circumstances but still had we retained a realtor on the second one who understood those circumstances things might have been different.  Way to think outside the box!
Posted by Linda Futral over 11 years ago

Jane:  That is funny...  "out laws" replacing the "in laws"...

Miriam:  I know it's not easy, that's why a good "Divorce Realtor" should help.

Jimmy:  The optimist in you can embrace the idea that you are much help, making the best of a not so good a situation...

Kim:  That's just it: don't take sides, don't get "enmeshed".  You are just a pillar of strength.  No judgement. No sides.  No subjectivity.  Just good financial guidance helping both of them get on with life...  

Gary:  My first response was to you. 

 

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Linda, you should use your experience to become the best "Divorce Realtor" in your area.  Sit down and make a list of all the things you think a good "Divorce Realtor" could have done to help you, then use that information as a road-map to becoming the best "Divorce Realtor" around.  Good luck! 

Marriage any time soon? 

... I thought not...

None for me, either, thank you very much!

 

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago
Mirela I don't even date at this point.  Not good for my health, lol.  I think I will see what I can come up with though.
Posted by Linda Futral over 11 years ago
I see your take on it. I agree about the flat rate on the lawyers but then that to them is price fixing.
Posted by Susan Trombley, Broker/Realtor, Raleigh, Cary, Wake Forest, Youngs (Trombley Real Estate) over 11 years ago

I can hear it now.  "I'll just bet you're married to an attorney."  Why, yes, yes I am. 

Now that I have disclosed: 

An attorney is someone who represents their client and does what their client wants them to do.  They don't like divorces that turn into long, ugly, hateful cases that end up in court because it is in nobody's best interest.  When children are involved, the attorneys try very hard to make sure that the children are taken care of first.  A divorce can only be ugly if one of the parties wants it to be. 

Posted by Gloria Ruesch, Real Estate Agent - Nebraska- Iowa (NP Dodge Real Estate) over 11 years ago

Thank you for that input, Gloria!  Sounds like your husband is a good attorney.  My own attorney was also very good; she is now a dear friend.

Can't help but share this with you.  It comes from a friend who used to be married to an attorney.  He said: "It's good being married to an attorney; it's just not good divorcing one!"

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Lots of interesting comments here. 

I would love to hear from you on some of the traits that a good "Divorce Realtor" should have.

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago
Hmmmm....never thought of divorce as being a niche. But it is! Hey - if you're the expert, then why not??
Posted by Kim Dean, d + b real estate, McKinney, TX REALTOR Broker/Own (www.RealFamilyRealEstate.com) over 11 years ago

Mirela,

              There's your new niche!!! DIVORCE COURT REALTY!!!or reality? Realty is better!

Posted by Christopher Webster, Columbia South Carolina Real Estate For Sale (Carrington Real Esate Services) over 11 years ago
Mirela,I keep telling my mother that I am better of not married... and she doesn't want to believe me. The divorces I see around involving real estate are so ugly, complicated and full of surprises. Better stay out of them.
Posted by Arina Hanciulescu, RealtyPros (RealtyPros) over 11 years ago
I'm sure if you work the Niche..... there is a market for it ! 
Posted by Roland Woodworth, Q Realty - Power In Real Estate (Q Realty) over 11 years ago

Arina:  Right you are!  Marriage as an institution is a flop.  Just look at the statistics!  Add a little Real Estate and other goodies to the mix, stir it up with a few attorneys and you get a potent and lethal concoction...

Roland:  with 51% of first time marriages ending up in divorce, and as many as 87% of third marriages ending there, the "Divorce Realty" is a worthy niche to develop...

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Mirela,

Great post!  You sound like a lovely person!  It's nice to see that others stay in touch with divorced family members.  I'm not divorced but my sister has been married twice, going on her third.  My family and I are still very close to her ex's and their parents.  It's funny to see the raised eyebrows from friends when we show up at invited functions. 

Posted by Connie Betz, Top Omaha Realtor - Omaha Homes for Sale (Keller Williams Greater Omaha) over 11 years ago

Michael:  It's so nice hearing from you!  Thank you for your kind words!   I know exactly what you mean; one of the most rewarding things I've ever done is help a family with four kids avoid foreclosure and deficiency judgement.  That grateful phone call from the mother will always remain in my memory: as she was sobbing uncontrollably she kept saying Thank you!  I can never repay you for what you've done!"  Those heartfelt words were priceless.  It is wonderful to have you there battling for those families.  Good luck!

Connie:  It's always a pleasure to have your comments!  Thank you!  You walk the walk, Connie, and for that you know I have the utmost respect for you!  Thank you for keeping in touch!

My two heroes: Michael and Connie, thank you!  You are both my role models.

 

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) about 11 years ago

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