Myrtle Beach Real Estate by Mirela

The Art of Being Happy

 

I have a few friends who are mostly unhappy. 

 

I have several friends who are genuinely happy and are going through life with sunny dispositions.  They smile.  They laugh.  They hum.  They sing.  Every day is an adventure and a wonderful present from God.  They are thankful for every little bit they have.  When someone needs help, they are there; no questions asked.   These people always seem have friends and family to share their lives with.  They are happy with today and believe that tomorrow will be even better.

 

I never hear them complain; they always seem to find the good part of everything.  If they break their left arm, they say: "Thank you Lord for watching over me; I'm so thankful I didn't break my right arm.  If both arms get broken, they say:  "Thank God for my legs!"  You get the picture:  no matter what happens, they seem to find a way to focus on the good side of everything. 

 

By contrast, my unhappy friends always seem too self absorbed.  It's all about them; somehow the world revolves around them and they get easily perturbed when things don't go their way.  Any little thing can throw their moods out of balance.  They are very hard on themselves and can't seem to forgive themselves for mistakes they make, yet they have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again.

 

Each group seems to have a well defined list of habits and attributes.  We'll examine those factors in the next blog.  For now, please ponder on the following question:

 

Do you think people can learn the art of being happy?

 

Myrtle Beach Real Estate by Mirela Monte                   Join The Optimist Group!

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Comment balloon 21 commentsMirela Monte • December 23 2008 11:53PM

Comments

I am a people watcher.   I have found so much by just intensely observing.  These are my observations.  Over the next several blogs I will share with you those observations. 

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Mirela, there is a book called "Happiness is a Choice" that our former pastor recommended. He has a PhD. in psychology. I choose to see the glass as half full in life not half empty - that's why I'm a member of The Optimist Group! :) Merry Christmas!

Posted by Sharon Alters, Realtor - Homes for Sale Fleming Island FL (Coldwell Banker Vanguard Realty - 904-673-2308) over 11 years ago

Sharon:  Smart girl! 

Thank you for the book tip too!  I'll have to buy it for them...

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

We all can definitely can learn the art of beng happy. The daily motivation I receive a couple of days ago from www.Walkthetalk.com is "Only You Can Make You Happy" Thanks for the positive post

Posted by Jean Powers, CRS,e-PRO,HAFA,SFR Broker, Northern California (Kane & Associates call 510.908.9002) over 11 years ago

I strive everyday to be happy! Really happy! I believe it is a choice. I love your blog and it has made me even happier! Thanks!

Posted by Elizabeth Ward Small (REALTOR & CEO The 3B Method Seminars) over 11 years ago

Liz:  ...And now you've just made me even HAPPIER!  Thank you!  Your kind words mean a lot to me!

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

My grandpa used to ask if I was gruntled. What is gruntled you ask? It is the oposite of disgruntled. I choose to be gruntled. Thanks for your great post.

Posted by Randy DeLaMare, Helping friends Realize their Real Estate Dreams (Realtypath LLC) over 11 years ago

Jean:  I like that:

"Only You Can Make You Happy"!

Hanging around other happy and positive people is a very good way to ensure joy.  Listening, watching and reading motivational and inspirational material is another great way to do it. 

My number one favorite is to realize just how lucky we are by comparison.  Just look around you and you will see a lot less fortunate folks.  My visits to my grandma's nursing home keeps it all in perspective for me.  When I leave there I feel infinitely fortunate to be able to walk out of there, to be able to walk, talk, think and express myself.   Health is a huge blessing.  If you have IT, you have most everything!

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Randy:  That is SO CUTE!   I'll have to remember that one! 

Thank you, Randy!

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Dear Mirela,

I don't necessarily think that most people can become happy, by their decision to become happy!

I do think that people can make a choice to spend more time with optimistic people to become happier.

 The associations we make are so important! Being around positive people re-enforces our positive feelings.

When you are around the "downers", you feel down! Is that a message!

I spent an evening with 2 of my closests friends. We were having a little pre-Christmas dinner together. One said that she was depressed, didn't know why. I piped up EVERYBODY is depressed--this is not strange! Actuallly, not being a bit depressed now is unhealthy. Things suck!

That broke the ice! Later I found out  my other friend was dealing with the 3rd anniversary of her Mother's death.

We were celebrating our friendship over great home made soup.

We shared. That was a friend's Christmas to me.

Posted by Barbara Delaney (Park Place REALTORS, Inc.) over 11 years ago

Barbara:  Thank you for sharing this intimate vignette!  I see a lot of joy in your friendship with these two women. 

Being happy doesn't mean that you are always up and bubbling over with enthusiasm every moment of every day.  No; it simply means that your Happiness compass is working just fine and it will always help you find your way there, regardless of what happens in your life. 

In our society there seems to be an implicit message that we should always feel good at all times (and at all cost...) and furthermore, that we should somehow always strive to achieve that ideal.  Holding that notion as dogma does much to usurp our eventual happiness. 

When bad things happen, it is a normal reaction to be unhappy as a result.  Melancholy should be embraced as the healer that it is.  It should not be hurried, for it does its job in due time.  As joyous as I am, I have had moments of extreme pain, where I just cried for days (the ending of my second marriage for example).  I embraced my melancholy as the grieving necessary in order to get to the other side.  Losing precious people from your life, that's another deep cause for pain.  I still cry every Father's Day.  It is not a good day for me on that celebrated occasion, for I still miss my father, and he's been gone for about a decade.  Father's Day I cry, but the next day I feel like myself again. 

Being happy is not about the facade, or the "Ra-Ra!!"   Being happy means that you eventually adjust to whatever losses you incur throughout your life and you eventually reach your way back to finding joy in every day life.  There is a miracle in living!

 

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Mirela,

I've found in my own life that focus on others instead of on my self brings peace, satisfaction, happiness, and often joy.  My mother taught us a little Sunday school chorus:

Jesus, and Others, and You
What a wonderful way to spell joy!

The lesson's never left me.

Mike in Tucson

Posted by Mike Jones, Mike Jones NMLS 223495 (SUNSTREET MORTGAGE, LLC (BK-0907366, NMLS 145171) ) over 11 years ago

It is a decision and I know I need to keep God close in my heart at all times

Posted by Janice Roosevelt, OICP ABR, ePRO,Ecobroker ( Keller Williams Brandywine Valley ) over 11 years ago

Mike:  I've always said that parenting is the most important job in the World!  Your mom is a prime example of that!

Thank you for sharing one of her valuable lessons!  I love it and will use it from now on:

Jesus, and Others, and You
What a wonderful way to spell joy!

 

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Mirela, great post! Life is what you make it. I think alot of unhappy people are missing something.  That Spirit or that higher power that makes them ok with what is. If you have a good relationship with GOD how can you be constantly be unhappy? 

Mike - I like that lesson.

Posted by Tanya Venable, SEO, Mobile SEO, and Internet Marketing Consultant over 11 years ago

Barbara:  Thank you for clarifying!  ...But I actually understood it the first time.  It was easy to, because of the rest of your comment. 

I just could not resist delving into my observation, it wasn't necessarily related to your words; they simply just jotted my mind to go that course.  There is so much pressure in our society to give the impression of happiness, and I felt compelled to address it. 

Joy and peace...  Happiness is a state of mind that can not be fabricated, purchased, or induced.  Chicken soup shared with your best friends:  great recipe for EARNING that state of mind.

 

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

This is another reason I subscribe to your blog, always uplifting and worth the time to find you and read your perspective, thanks, Steve

Posted by Steve Mattison, Vietnam Veteran over 11 years ago

I think our basic outlook is probably something we're born with, but I DO think we can alter that. It's not what we are born with that matters, but what we DO with it.

Posted by Leslie Prest, Owner, Assoc. Broker, Prest Realty, Payson, (Leslie Prest, Prest Realty, Sales and Rentals in Payson, AZ) over 11 years ago

Yes I think people can learn the art of being happy. Not sure if self absorbed people are ever happy. But I think happiness is a state of mind and easy to achieve - just look outward. Thanks...

Posted by Kathy Knight, BROKER, ABR, CRS, GRI, SFR, SRES (Intracoastal Realty Corp) over 11 years ago

Happiness is a choice. Pretty Simple.

Posted by Gregg Fous (Market America Realty and Investments, Inc.) over 11 years ago

I thrive on positive attitude.  It's so easy to keep others down with negative thoughs.  Loose the unhappy feelings and we'll be better off.

Posted by Kay Van Kampen, Realtor®, Springfield Mo Real Estate (RE/MAX Broker, RE/MAX) over 11 years ago

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