Myrtle Beach Real Estate by Mirela

The Art of Being Happy IV: Define Happy!


Being happy doesn't mean that you are always up and bubbling over with enthusiasm every moment of every day.  No; it simply means that your Happiness compass is working just fine and it will always help you find your way there, regardless of what happens in your life. 


In our society there seems to be an implicit message that we should feel good at all times (and at all cost...) and furthermore, that we should somehow always strive to achieve that ideal.  Holding that notion as dogma does much to usurp our eventual happiness. 


When bad things happen, it is a normal reaction to be unhappy as a result.  Melancholy should be embraced as the healer that it is.  It should not be hurried, for it does its job in due time.  As joyous as I am, I have had moments of extreme pain, when I just cried for days (the ending of my second marriage for example).  I embraced my melancholy as the grieving necessary in order to get to the other side.  Losing precious people from your life - that's another deep cause for pain.  I still cry every Father's Day.  It is not a good day for me on that celebrated occasion, for I still miss my father, and he's been gone for about a decade.  Father's Day I cry, but the next day I feel like myself again. 


Being happy is not about the facade, or the "Ra-Ra!!"   Being happy means that you eventually adjust to whatever losses you incur throughout your life and you eventually reach your way back to finding joy in every day life.  There is a miracle in living!

What are your thoughts on this?


Mirela Monte, Your Myrtle Beach Connection                       Join me on the Optimist Group!

The Art of Being Happy
The Art of Being Happy - Part II
The Art of Being Happy - Part III - Divine Guidance:

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Comment balloon 18 commentsMirela Monte • January 20 2009 09:43AM


It's snowing in myrtle beach.  We haven't seen snow in over a decade.  The ebbs and flows of the weather, like our emotions, are an integral part of life.  Sunshine eventually warms up everything all over again...

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Great post, very uplifting!

Posted by Amanda Christiansen, Christiansen Group Realty (Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843) over 11 years ago

I've found that the key to happiness is always being thankful, whatever comes your way.  If you're satisfied and grateful with what you have, instead of envious of what you don't, you will always be happy!

Posted by Rob and Camille Di Maio (San Antonio Real Estate - Keller Williams Legacy) over 11 years ago

Hey, Mirela. I think that happiness is having peace in your life. I hope we get some of that snow down here. All my best, Jim

Posted by Jim & Maria Hart, Charleston, SC Real Estate (Brand Name Real Estate) over 11 years ago

I agree!  On those down days I find my strength in the Lord.

Posted by Connie Lou Barnett, GRI,CRS,CRB,SRMM,ARA,PRS,SFR,QSC (Real Living/Home Realty) over 11 years ago

Rob and Camille:  Of all the things I've observed in happy people, gratitude seems to be at the very top of the list.  Thank you for your keep observation!

Jared:  Thank you very much!  I wrote the happiness series "accidentally", for a friend who was depressed.  It was my ardent wish to help him.  What came out of it is something I hope will lend of ray of sunshine to others in his situation...  Regularly fine tuning ourselves by exposure to positive messages goes a long way in that "journey"...

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Jim and Maria:  It is beautiful outside.  I will take a picture momentarily and post it as my next blog.  Stay tuned! 

Peace is a major component, but to garner peace, one has to work at it and be congruous with oneself, which is what my next blog in the series is all about.  Again, stay tuned!

Connie:  My third blog in the series is about exactly that.  It works!  Thank you for sharing!  It is much appreciated!


Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

Mirela, for me happiness is the ability to keep things in perspective and the understanding that life is a series of events. The interpretation of those events is up to us.

Posted by John Mulkey, Housing Guru ( over 11 years ago

John:  Therein lies the key:

to keep things in perspective and the understanding that life is a series of events. The interpretation of those events is up to us.

That's why we have control over our happiness...

Posted by Mirela Monte, Myrtle Beach Real Estate (Buyers' Choice Realty) over 11 years ago

How you deal with the bad times says as alot about you. Life is a rollercoaster ride-you would not enjoy the high points if you have never experienced the low points. And always remeber no matter how bad things are, life is constantly changing and it will change. Might be better, might be worse but things are always changing. Just keep on plugging away and pushing onward and upward!

Posted by Mark Brian, Anderson SC Realtor (Silver Star Real Estate LLC) over 11 years ago

happiness is not having what you want, it is wanting what you have... and I agree with you.. You CANT always be happy, that would just be fake.  How can you truly know what happiness is with out pain and sorrow?  Life is a balance and all the little experiences are what make us who we are.

Posted by Robert Rauf (HomeBridge Financial Services (NJ)) over 11 years ago

I can't imagine ALWAYS being happy. Kind of takes the "happy"out of happy

Posted by Cindy Edwards, CRS, GRI, PMN - Northeast Tennessee - 423-677-6677 (RE/MAX Checkmate) over 11 years ago

What a wonderful speech!!! Good luck to him he has so much cleaning up to do!

Posted by Andrea Palmer, Phone 239-333-5556 (Jones & Co. Realty 239-333-5556) over 11 years ago

Mirela, As you know happiness is a state of mind.  Just like knowing what you want and need in this world.  It is not so much as knowing what you need to be happy as being happy with what you already have.

Posted by Larry Story, Total Care Realty, LLC, Greensboro, NC Real Estate (Total Care Realty) over 11 years ago

great post Melissa as always - i enjoy reading your stuff

Posted by Randall Sandin, 843-209-9667 - Search for Charleston SC Real Estate (Carolina One Real Estate) over 11 years ago

For me being happy is selling homes and living with the man of my dreams - what more could a girl ask for???????????

Posted by Barbara-Jo Roberts Berberi, MA, PSA, TRC - Greater Clearwater Florida Residential Real Estate Professional, Palm Harbor, Dunedin, Clearwater, Safety Harbor (Charles Rutenberg Realty) over 11 years ago

It's the Duality of life that creates balance.

Posted by Tom Ski, Social Media Marketing, Online Radio (BeFirst Media Group) over 11 years ago

Mirela, so many things make me happy, appreciating the life I'm living and the people I live it with. I like and agree with Cindy's comment!

Posted by Debbie Malone, From Lynchburg To The Lake (434) 546-0369 (Londeree's Real Estate & Property Management) over 11 years ago